NLD’s Constant Challenge

Human social connections are constant. Thus, NLD is constantly challenging. I would like to study whether people with NLD have a greater likelihood of accompanying physical difficulties. I recently had the flu, and had a slow recovery, plus very drawn-out symptoms. I don’t have the flu anymore, but yesterday mistakenly had more milk products than I could well-tolerate (it’s best if I don’t have any or just a couple bites) and ended up throwing up. This happened after I got off the bus, which I fell asleep on, perhaps to avoid feeling motion sick. Every time I go through a nausea spell, the thought of many foods makes my stomach hurt. I think NLD may increase the likelihood of feeling motion sick. It makes sense, since we have altered perception of the visual-spatial realm.

What is Nonverbal Learning Disorder?

I had to write this because so few people have heard of NLD. After all, it isn’t really in the DSM book, and some people want to put every spectrum disorder together and call them all the same thing. I argue that a more accurate description of NLD is that it falls between AS and ADHD. I don’t particularly like quickly defining NLD, but what I usually say is it’s a specific learning disability that causes a person to have trouble with visual-spatial issues. I often experience it as more of a neurological condition than anything else, as one side of my brain isn’t caught up with the other side. Some of my first entries on this blog provide further definitions.

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Being Socially Unsure

In short, NLD causes me to become steeped in social possibilities. Of the many choices, I tend to choose none, save for observing, and/or the least extreme reaction.

This often means I’ll ask a one-syllable, grade-school kid’s question, often “why.” Sometimes I’ll ask someone “really,” because I so dislike the sound of my voice. I talk in broken phrases with lots of pauses.

I don’t speak in comfortable sentences unless I know someone else knows, or I have reasonable confidence that he or she knows I’m smart.

And so I experience NLD as social uncertainty more than social awkwardness. That said, awkwardness is sometimes a big variable. Yet it’s more like I’m just unsure.

I’m very intrigued lately by Daniel Lightwing and can’t wait to learn more about his comments on having AS. I saw him in an interview, and his mannerisms remind me greatly of myself. Except he’s a math prodigy and I’m definitely not.

I have a final, a very hard math final, in just a few days. I have trouble studying, plus it’s so cold here, but I try to do some studying each day. I could be online all day so easily–it’s my free vacation, and free social outlet, but if I did that I wouldn’t get anything done.

I can’t wait to respond to the comments readers have posted. I really enjoy hearing from you.

NLD and Goosebumps

Sometimes a visual image is too heavy for me, like bedsores and other skin diseases. I think NLD has something to do with the goosebumps I get when I see something I think is gross. Also, things that move around really fast are overwhelming. I used to have rodents for pets, but now I can’t look carefully at most of the rodents in a pet store or humane society, especially guinea pigs. I can’t even look at a guinea pig’s picture without freaking out. I used to have two for pets, but I slowly became almost-phobic as I got older. I hope that parents and other adults who help those with NLD won’t make fun of the anxiety that we with NLD sometimes have. The sources will vary, but it’s best to accept them. Some will be grown out of, and others will develop.

Holidays and NLD

I find the holidays very stressful, as I’d rather be home alone or just with my own family. Unfortunately we have late nights at relatives’ homes. I’m allergic to dusty indoor spaces, can’t stay up too late, and find conversation excruciating. I also feel lonesome for friends I don’t see often, and wish there were more relatives I looked forward to visiting, but I dread most of the visits. I also like to talk myself through things to calm myself, and can’t do this around people. I love alone time, but holidays are supposed to jam people together, and it feels like standing in a crowd for several days. It’s something I experience as overstimulating.

NLD is a neurological condition

I was reading this blog and saw some general resemblances to the NLD symptoms that I often struggle with. Mine are different than this blogger’s (http://rivflections.blogspot.com/), who appears to have another medical condition related to seizures, but I still feel some of these things:
-Balance difficulties, esp. in the morning
-Visual aphasia
-Dispraxia and choppy language
-Frozen face
And more difficulties I’ll get to later.

NLD and Ear Plugs

I just got a pair of ear plugs, shaped like EarPlanes. I love how they reduce noise by 27 decibels, as I find the world easier to take in when I’m not overwhelmed by noise. I also hope to protect my hearing long-term, as I would be even more confused/lost without good hearing.

Food Issues Solved, for me

I went to see an allergist (finally–my dad is very allergic to most things) earlier this week. I am not allergic to common food allergens, but it’s very likely, and I’d say almost certain from my symptoms, that I have lactose intolerance. This is almost a relief, and I am near lots of stores that carry lactose-free products. The thought of taking a milk test makes me feel sick, as I’ve had this condition, but not fully known, for many years. I have no idea if people with spectrum issues are more likely to have digestive complications, but it strikes me as a possibility. I was diagnosed with outdoor and indoor allergies during a very itchy skin test. I had to restrain myself from scratching. I have a low tolerance for pain. I bought new pillows and encasings to cope with the dust allergies and am now taking small doses of zyrtec. I’m going to try generic soon because it’s much cheaper. I explained to the doctor that I have NLD, and it seemed to go well. I said it causes me to look nervous and have some difficulty with communication. Disclosure is a big step, but worth it.

Unhelpful disability resources

My state’s vocational rehabilitation department is full of it.  It’s clear that they were founded to only address very limited attributes of disabilities–namely physical mobility ones, and not the other problems that people get discriminated for having.  I get treated differently due to NLD more often than I care to realize, yet there’s very little understanding of the challenges NLD creates in my life.  I just met with a state vocational counselor who was completely uninsightful.  It outrages me that the state funds this incompetent work, that someone with a high school education could do.  The agency’s location took me an hour and fifteen minutes to reach on two buses.  The counselor had no sympathetic words for my transportation struggles and didn’t even talk about this issue with me, even though it is a functional limitation and special need.  I was asked if I have trouble dressing or need help from a personal attendant.  I felt like saying if this was the case, would I be here by myself, but was trying to be civil.  I was told that our state’s vocational rehab waiting list has about 5,000 people on it.  I’m not sure why the appointment couldn’t have been done on the phone.  I’m back to the drawing board with my job search.  I’ll have to see what my therapist says about whether or not we should continue to work with the rehab program.