When you have NLD, it’s hard to unstick yourself from a social misunderstanding or conflict. NLD makes it hard to correctly read facial expressions and other cues on the spot. For these reasons, I almost always think of a good comment after a conversation ends. I get glued to emotions and memories in order to process them. Sometimes I get stuck. To me a conversation is rocky, like walking through mud or being on a boat. I misunderstand visual stimuli every day. To make up for it, I cling to rules. I got into this pattern of following rules. I still fall into it sometimes. I’d tell myself that if I just followed the rules, I’d be OK, and maybe appear normal.
But inevitably, people would point out areas to correct. I’m over-sensitive to criticism, and sometimes I feel stung. It’s a step up from a poke. More like a little jab. I have to nurse myself out of it in order to move on. This repair work is tough. To do it, I must recall the situation, take it apart, and put it back together. Minor problems clear up more easily, but major ones hurt, and this tough person is still working on it. I try to take out the constructive parts of a criticism, but it’s more work for me due to NLD. Sometimes stuck has to run its course before the repairing can begin. More on this later.