Here’s a vignette from my past, brought back in the hopes of helping others:
Freshman year of high school, I obsessed over a senior boy and could not get over it. At the time, I wanted a relationship. I didn’t know how to tell if he liked me. I wrote notes and left them on his locker and even doorstep. I called his number just once, and talked to his mother but did not identify myself. Predictably, the crush was just that, and of course unrequited.
In a totally Queenbees & Wannabes moment, an older girl (friend of his) told a friend of mine I was out of line. Since I still had undiagnosed NLD, I took this criticism more harshly than what was intended (though I still maintain that school kids are often insensitive to each other, and could only attend a class reunion if all my good friends were there to talk with me). I sent an (accepted) apology back through the grapevine. I berated myself. I went to extremes. I asked my friends if they thought I was a stalker.
Fortunately they were on my side and would not let me over-criticize myself. I had no adult mentors back then, so I just had my same-age friends to run stuff by. In contrast to lots of NLD literature, I was able to see my errors and move on after a couple days. I now know just about everyone has a story like this, and I can laugh about it. I’m glad I learned not to over-crush, but I’d have other issues over the next few years.
Which brings me to a related point: NLD is not simply the NLD-person’s issues. NLD is just as much about how society views this LD.