By the time I’d reached first grade, I had been taught to observe relative silence in school. Thus, I didn’t feel comfortable conversing and was terrified to ask questions or make comments. I never knew where/when to speak up. As life went on, I got terrified of speaking in class, which I now see as like public speaking. And now I find myself holding back from asking questions due to these (at least for me) largely-NLD issues:
-Worrying that my question/comment is off-topic.
-Having trouble stringing together concepts into the form of an on-the-spot question.
-Confusion about what exactly I’m asking.
-Worrying that my question/comment may have overly-opinionated content (i.e., be too critical, or sound angry without me intending or realizing).
-Fact that, at least much of the time, I can’t project (“throw”) my voice and instead tend to speak in a very “indoor” voice. (I studied solo voice once, but could never get my voice loud enough for a whole room to hear, plus now I’m very self-conscious about my speech-pattern issues, which makes speaking up even harder.)
I imagine myself proactively asking questions in front of a class, but doing it is completely different. Also, I’m often too busy just copying stuff off the board, or doing computation, to ask a question in those less-than-ten-second windows. Tomorrow if I’m not too exhausted, I’m going to try and stay after class so I can ask the professor some questions I will prepare in advance. Hopefully this will help me feel more comfortable, but I can’t know for sure. I’ve had many difficult experiences–more than not. I’ve been passed up for jobs due to NLD, et cetera. I feel like there should be a book called “Dealing with NLD in an NLD-Unfriendly World” or something. barriers