The funeral

I did go to the funeral, even though it was really hard, even though I debated with myself about whether to attend.  It went OK.  It was very typical for a funeral, and seeing the old office crowd is something I have mixed feelings about.  Then I spent the days after in bed with a cold, which I have only recently gotten better from.  Due to the cold, I slept a lot and also obsessed about things people said at the funeral, which were really everyday comments, but NLD confuses things.  I have since been in email contact with some of my old work friends, just casually chatting.  It doesn’t feel that great, but I think I’ll never have real friendships with them.  We met at work.  They’re saying I should stop by the office sometime.  Yet what would I do there?  I want to be done with my math class first and know what my grade is, which won’t be until near the holidays.  At that point my brother will move home from college.  He generally refuses to drive me places and eats the food I buy with my own money, plus doesn’t clean up after himself.  I hope I’ll be able to move out before I go crazy, but I’m in a rough spot.  I’m unemployed and have no income beyond a volunteer stipend.  This isn’t enough to cover living costs.  I want to live alone because I feel the most comfortable, but without a job this goal is delayed.

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