Minesweeper

I’ve played an occasional game of Minesweeper (in Linux it’s called Mines, and I use Linux more than 90% of the time now).

I think Minesweeper is a lot like a traumatic experience. The first step is just going along, making benign observations. This step is like starting to play Minesweeper–you get a general sense of where the numbers are in that one game. One game is like one of life’s problems. In the case of someone with NLD, those problems are likely to have a social component. I simply don’t know what to do in many social situations. I feel unsure, overwhelmed, and pressed to be something I’m just not.

In the next step of Minesweeper, things get hotter. Your chances of hitting the minefield are larger. This is like a social situation getting harder to navigate, and NLD gets more confusing, and/or other people just don’t understand NLD.

Then you hit a mine, unless you’ve won, which has never happened to me. You can’t see what the remaining boxes’ numbers are. This reminds me of a traumatic experience–you don’t know, and can only guess other people’s thoughts about the events. And yet you still have to go on. It’s a tougher deal when you have NLD, of course. Not everyone’s families provide guidance, or quality guidance, so sometimes a mentor must be found. With me, it’s a long-term psychologist who has many NLD and AS patients.

As I write this, I think of the other meaning of “mine” which has been in the news. My only point of reference where I ever learned anything about mines was watching the movie North Country. So I know very little. I can’t imagine doing work like that, and for years. I hope that both psychological help and benefits are provided to the survivors’ families. And I’m very sad that the families, friends, and local communities are now dealing with a huge traumatic experience.

NLD causes extra sensitivity to multiple word meanings. Sometimes it gets me way off-topic. Here I was just talking about the computer accessory and all that is unknown. I think the unknown is even more troubling when one has NLD.

Just remember that every NLD obstacle is something a person can and will survive. NLD definitely relates to depression, but that doesn’t mean someone can’t get better. We have to keep talking about what NLD is and what it means. I’m glad this blog helps a little with that. More later.

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2 Responses to “Minesweeper”

  1. Zoe Says:

    I have NVLD and I can really relate to what you write about minesweeper. Social situations are challenging for me because I never know when I might misinterpret a facial expression and say the wrong thing. It is like walking on tiptoes trying to avoid the mines that lurk behind every corner. Thank you so much for writing this blog because I feel less alone in the world.

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