27 and Single

I enjoy not being in a relationship, but I also miss not having a person to share an affectionate bond with.  Sometimes I think people think that we with NLD (and related conditions) are not interested in relationships, and it’s not true.  We want to explore relationships.  In my case, I need a large amount of alone time, but I enjoy my friends.  I particularly love writing to them, and reading their delightful paragraphs that they send in return.  I feel from writing what someone without an LD like this might feel from a conversation.  And writing is a wonderful conversation.  Yet on holidays, I wish I had a person with me to help me survive family gatherings.  It could be a sister, best friend, or boyfriend–it doesn’t matter.  Just so I would register as semi-normal on the days that the normal-police come out in great volume.  If you’ve ever tried being single at a family gathering, it’s an emotional challenge.  I am without children, but I have a dog.  I find my dog relentless, so I’m not sure I could deal with a child, unless I had an SO who was understanding of my NLD issues.  Yet I love seeing happy kids.  And I’d be sad if I never get to at least be an aunt.  I wonder, though, about our society finding fault against socially-awkward mothers.  I think it does.  My socially-challenged mom got brushed aside.  She is very avoidant, and doesn’t like kids, though.


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