Social Anxiety and Phobias

Hi Everyone,
So sorry I have not written on this blog in forever. I struggle to keep up with work and school, plus challenging family and friends, but I am so thankful for the empathy of the NLD-supportive discussions on this blog. Just reading through your comments today has made the day much better, and your comments are helping me feel more understood in my difficulties.

Despite a very intensive speech therapy program, I continue to suffer from social anxiety. Sometimes it’s so tough, I can’t even bring myself to approach people, even when I know them and they’ve never done anything mean. I know it’s awkward to not approach them, but it’s just too scary. This doesn’t happen all the time, but it does happen a great deal. I haven’t figured out ways around it, except to focus on written communication when I can, such as text messages and emails. But I don’t carry around a computer, and work requires lots of in-person communication. One job requires making change, which I’ve never done, so I need to develop some strategies for adding things up.

My family is quite challenging. I have an older relative who yells at me, which is very difficult, but do not yet have the resources to move beyond this. I feel that we with NLD are more likely to experience difficult people, and struggle more with the difficulties they present. Many times we might find ourselves in the company of others with various socially-impacting difficulties because they too have been ostracized. Unfortunately some of these friends can be poisonous, leaving us to choose between few friends and difficult ones. More on these things in the future.

I had years with no friends at all, and am still recovering. More later.

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5 Responses to “Social Anxiety and Phobias”

  1. Norma Says:

    You touched me, I was this evening going back and forth between my 2 children and their school projects. The child with NLD had somehow managed to write the same facts over and over but each time re-worded. I found myself raising my voice in frustration. We later talked about the situation and moved on. I hope for you that the relative that shouts at you will have a clarity of thought to recognize their part in your life and try to work with you and not against you. We all struggle in our lives and individuals with NLD struggle moment by moment and it very easy to forget your pain and struggles because your issue is so invisible and yet so obvious. Best wishes to you and I so appreciate that you have this forum. My child is 13, lonely and afraid and I have no idea how to lead her into adulthood. Please keep posting, you help people like me, we are handicapped when it comes to helping the people we love who deal with NLD.

    • hannahcamille Says:

      Hi there,
      I remember those early teen years with apprehension, though they were long ago. Maybe your child with NLD was stuck on an early step, and had trouble visualizing the next steps? Maybe have them work from a completed sample or template provided by the teacher. Your child is fortunate to have such an understanding parent. Please comment again. Thanks.

  2. Clementine Says:

    I’ve been known to say, “I don’t have a problem with authority; authority has a problem with me.” I find that structure is a vehicle for facilitating all types of social interaction from work to play. I relish structure and crave it when it doesn’t exist. However, devising structure when there isn’t any is incredibly complex for me and requires a great deal of care and deliberation. My adherence to established structure is sometimes valued and sometimes shunned. Presently I’m employed in an environment where there is little management and questionable business practices. I find it disconcerting to work in a small office where federal standards of privacy and protection do not seem to be upheld as often as they should. I hate feeling like it’s me against the world, but in this case I don’t think I’m pitying myself at all. I think the day-to-day operations at this place of business are conducted poorly. Do you or any other readers experience similar issues in the workplace?

  3. Clementine Says:

    I was just flipping through Facebook and remembered something you had wrote in a previous post about maintaining friendships. There are definitely a few people in my life who I haven’t heard from since I stopped reaching out. I also recall a moment in elementary school when I was on a student bulletin board that displayed biographical facts. One of the items was “your best friend.” I wrote the name of the person I’d known for the longest instead of the name of the friend I was closest to at that time. I guess I idealized a long-lasting friendship even if it wasn’t a close friendship. My closest friend at the time asked me why I didn’t write her name. I remember being perplexed by the whole situation. It was hard for me to assign superlatives to friends. As an adult I realize I wish I had a long-lasting best friend. Most of my close friends and I have drifted apart; some of us have reacquainted. It’s hard for me to trust and judge the quality of my friendships. I was surprised when a friend asked me to be a bridesmaid because I didn’t realize she valued our friendship so highly. I guess I’m just at a loss when it comes to making and developing friendships.

  4. VoxEphemeral Says:

    Keep writing, please.

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